I couldn’t find the term Fashion/Mista anywhere. Not on Urban Dictionary, not on Twitter, TikTok—not even ChatGPT.
The first time I used the term was during a conversation with my friend Daija. One of us was probably dating a man who was… fashion-forward. That convo led us down a rabbit hole, talking about other men we’ve dated or just knew.
We started calling them fashionistas—because that’s what they are. But because Daija and I have to turn everything into a joke, we coined the term Fashion/Mistas. It began as a playful nickname, but it quickly became a real label for the type of men we kept encountering.
But what really makes someone a Fashion/Mista?
Why not just call them fashionistas or fashion-forward men?
Well, I asked a few friends and family members who’ve also run into these types, and some interesting patterns started to show up.
——
When I asked my aunt how she felt about Fashion/Mistas, she said bluntly: “Not a one-woman man.”
She went on to explain how they switch women as often as they change outfits.
“They want the perfect girl beside them.”
According to her, Fashion/Mistas are often single or… whores. Settling down means giving up the potential of meeting someone “better” later. It’s like their partner is an accessory.
And if a Fashion/Mista does decide to settle down, they’re extremely picky. Compatibility doesn’t even cross their mind.
I once talked to a Fashion/Mista who I thought I was vibing with. He complimented a sweater I was wearing, and when I told him it was from SHEIN, I swear his entire demeanor changed. He immediately started assessing me—judging me.
Now, yes—SHEIN has issues. The company has been called out for exploiting its workers and underpaying them. But I don’t think his problem with it was about ethics. It was because it wasn’t expensive. It wasn’t designer. It wasn’t cool enough.
My aunt also said Fashion/Mistas are known for love bombing, and yes—I can cosign that.
The one I mentioned before? Completely love bombed me right after that judgmental moment. Showered me with compliments, affection, and attention.
When I talked to my friend Sasha, she mentioned dating a Fashion/Mista back in high school who later turned out to be DL—gay. Now, I’m not saying there’s a correlation between Fashion/Mistas and homosexuality, but it was a funny, very on-brand plot twist.
What was relatable, though, was what she said next:
“Men with a big fashion style always tried to change my style—or make it match theirs. But it came off judgmental.”
Wanting a partner who matches your aesthetic is fine. We all want someone who can match our fly. But there’s a thin line between giving suggestions and being lowkey condescending about someone’s taste.
My conversation with Syncere brought in a deeper take. She said:
“I think men care too much about being validated by other men. They’ll literally change their style and appearance not only to connect with other men, but to compete with their masculinity.”
This might’ve been my favorite take.
I think Fashion/Mistas dress to see how many likes and comments they can get. They’ll put on the most basic outfit imaginable—but because it costs way too much, they expect praise. It’s not even about personal style anymore. It’s about performance, competition, and ego.
I remember talking to another friend about Fashion/Mistas, and she told me that he asked her:
“How many pairs of shoes do you have?”
It was such a silly and out-of-touch question. As if the number of shoes she owned could somehow determine her value—based on the number he had in his head.
To piggyback off what Syncere said, my other friend Olivia thinks men do it for approval. Of course, they want compliments from women, but getting them from their male friends? That’s what really strokes their ego—even though these same types of men proudly identify as “straight.”
She explained it like this:
“They want the same attention that a pretty woman gets. They want the treatment that women get. They want to be idolized. They want the free stuff. They want it all.”
Daija said something similar. She compared Fashion/Mistas to IG baddies. Hilarious but true.
And we’re not saying men should dress for women or shouldn’t want to look good for themselves. But when fashion controls their personality and dictates what they desire? That’s where it becomes harmful.
Because nothing is worse than an insecure man.
Sometimes, a Fashion/Mista isn’t even passionate about what they wear—they’re more obsessed with how they look.
Daija brought up light-skinned men as a perfect example of an archetype: the kind who genuinely believes he looks better than you. She described them as butterflies—“Pretty to look at, but hard to catch.”
She shared a story about one she dated:
“He withheld sex from me because he believed I didn’t value him enough.”
These types of men pride themselves on being untouchable whores.
Fashion/Mistas are the kind of men who care way too much about what they’re wearing, how much it costs, and the woman beside them for that moment.
A lot of times, they don’t even know why they care so much about looking good.
It goes beyond self-love and becomes a secret third thing:
Insecurity.
Whether they’re overcompensating or trying to prove something, it shows up in their ability to create close, romantic relationships with women.
And honestly?
They’re okay with that.
In their eyes, it’s our loss.
Again, they view themselves as the prize. Send the flood.
Their self-perception is already warped, so it makes sense that their view of women is too. They chase an image that isn’t even sustainable—and it starts to consume them.
This post isn’t meant to steer you away from dating a man who likes to dress nice.
But a warning to watch out for red flags.These types of men can be dangerous to date—especially if you’re confident and secure.
Never let a man dim your light just so they can shine.
Sincerely,
Your older sisters 💕
